I don’t frequent Oh No They Didn’t, but the community recently posted a quick summary of what professional authors think of fanfiction, and it was relevant to my interests.

Almost immediately, one of the community’s members posted the most perfect response in the universe:



My own history with fanfiction is alive and naked on the Internet. I was too young to know better, and at the time, it seemed as if the online world would forever remain a walled garden. Oh well. Between my recent offences, the Super Mario parody fanfic I shared with my class when I was a shy 11-year-old, and Little Archie’s Adventures in Bullshit (which I wrote when I was about six—not its actual title), it’s safe to say that if not for fanfic, I would not currently be writing for a living.

That’s not to say I don’t think there’s a lot of horrible fanfiction, and I admittedly roll my eyes at writers who take fanfic and its community SUPER-DUPER-SERIOUSLY, but I also wonder what is up with professional haters like George R.R. Martin, who should really know better. Fanfic is not new, it’s not going away, and it’s not even necessarily an automatic sign of creative bankruptcy.

Fanfic is older than Shakespeare, older than the Bible, older than oral tradition (pfffft!!!). When our ancestors sat around campfires and spun stories of the Earth’s creation, all-powerful deities with one head and two arms gradually turned into six-legged, mud-shitting horses. Sullied canon, or best primitive fanfic ever? You be the judge!

Incidentally, a couple of years back I wrote an in-depth feature about fanfiction for 1UP. You’re welcome to read it!

Whew. Remember how I’d talk about writing? Well, here’s a good place to start!

Writing from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

People think I have the ideal job. Hell, in many ways, I do! I generally enjoy my work, I don’t have to wake up at Ass O’Clock (though one of my editors is a mere 90 minutes south of me via the Queen Elizabeth Way, and he likes me to be behind the keyboard at roughly 9 a.m.), and I can work in my skivvies until the Fed Ex guy buzzes up with a delivery. Most of the time, said delivery is a new game. Hey, you know what, that’s pretty awesome!

But there are some very clear disadvantages to working from home. The Oatmeal covered a few (“WHAT’S IT GONNA BE, SAD MAN?”), and I have one more to add: there’s really no such thing as a sick day.

See, I also work part-time outside the house as an assistant animal groomer, which is another job I rather enjoy, but comes with a lot of hazards. Yesterday, I suffered one of the worst: a cat bite. Cats aren’t domesticated four-footed mammals. They’re actually snakes and vampires cross-bred with Komodo dragons to efficiently deliver one of the most bacteria-laden bites in the animal kingdom. If a groomer gets bit by a dog, they work through the pain as long as all their fingers are attached. Cat bite, though? oh god oh please no no no. Infection, fever, massive swelling, and enormous pain are sure to follow.

My bite, thankfully, wasn’t too bad, but I still knew I was on borrowed time when the attack happened. I went home and began typing like madman in hopes of getting my writing for the day finished before my almost-inevitable hospital visit.

I won!!

*spikes football*

In fact, when my arm started swelling and the pain began singing, I said to myself, “All right Nadia, you just gotta finish this one preview, and then you can go to the hospital.”

It was the most perfect reward.

Many writers work on contract. No benefits, no sick days, no nothing (thank God I live in a country with health care). Editors are sympathetic, but they still need their work, you know? set your jaw and keep on going, son!

(Daughter.)

As for me, I’m OK. Got antibiotics. Heck, I got painkillers too, so I’m golden.

I had an interview with Alex Thomas, one of the team members behind the excellent-looking Banner Saga. If you’re interested in reading it, voila.

In the meantime, do not contract a cat bite.

I was thinking. Instead of just merely linking to my work, which God knows I’m terrible at doing anyway, how’s about I write down some of my thoughts about the act/crime of writing?

What do you think? Too egotistical…?

The worst-kept secret in my life is the fact that I’m a Mega Man fan of stupidly huge proportions. So it was super-duper of Udon to give my husband and I an advance copy of the Mega Man Robot Master Field Guide:

We cracked it open to get high off the new book smell, and (to be frank) our own egos:

I am so happy we got to work on this. Thanks for the opportunity, Udon!

The Robot Master Field Guide is out on April 11!

So!

I am no longer a writer for Gamezebo…

Because I am now the site’s Assistant Editor!

Of course, being an Editor doesn’t mean I’m sprung from my writing duties.

Ah ha ha ha, oh my land, no!

Nor does it mean I’m no longer going to freelance for my old haunts. I’m waaaay too poor for that kind of shit!

THIS IS THE LIFE I CHOSE.

…And all in all, it ain’t a bad one!

So! I am doing work for GameZebo now! Primarily previews and reviews of social games on Facebook—you know, the stuff that gets you fired if your boss walks in at the wrong time (the stuff that’s not goblin-on-dragon pornography, I mean).

Solitaire Blitz preview
Caesar’s Casino review
Swords and Potions review
Pirates: Tides of Fortune review

Words I still have trouble spelling:

-Solitaire
-Caeser

Speaking of images and moving pictures dedicated to…weird fetishes, just look at this guy’s smile (from Caesar’s Casino):



If he asks you to help him find his lost puppy, run away and tell an adult.

Been writing a busload of iOS game reviews, as per usual. I have links here, if you’re interested!

“That’s all well and good, Nadia, but what’s with the banner image there?”

It’s there because Snoopy deserves all the hugs.

Also, I reviewed a Snoopy game a while back. Anyway:

Wind Up Knight
Bug Princess
Mini Motor Racing
Tetris
Snoopy’s Street Fair
Gymkhana Racing

And finally, I drudge up that ol’ chestnut:

Will the 3DS or iOS Rule the Holiday Season?

Spoiler: They are both special in their very own way. Though I do think Nintendo deserves kudos for really turning around the 3DS’s fortunes. Either that or the company performed some kind of ceremony to nudge their shadows over onto the Vita’s side of the court.

“Are those Gorons KISSING?”



Despite the fact David and I both work from home and write about games, we don’t get to play together very often (maybe that’s because we both work from home and write about games. “Want to play Mario?” “Ffft, no—I have ten reviews to write, and I spent all day on my iPod and 3DS”). We therefore resolved ages ago to play The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword together, and we’ve made good on our venture.

It’s been, um, nearly two months (we got the game a week before its official release), but we’re finally at the end game. At the very least, I feel qualified to talk about the game at length, and what I like, and what I don’t like. I’m avoiding spoilers to the best of my ability, but I might slip ever-so-slightly (especially since “spoiler” is subjective), so…beware. Take care.

In a deku nut shell, I’d rank Skyward Sword as one of my Zelda favourites. Uhhh, I don’t have an official ranking—check back for that sometime! Off the top of my head, though, my besties include Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, and Minish Cap, which I am playing for the first time thanks to the 3DS Ambassador Program. Gosh, it is magical.

I’m also one of those much spit-upon lovers of Twilight Princess. Man, what can I say, I think being a wolf is cool, and I love riding Epona all around Hyrule. But I basically regard Twilight Princess as a gussied-up version of Ocarina of Time. As for Ocarina—okay, I appreciate that the game re-invented the console adventure, and I played it on the N64 more times than I care to remember, but playing it now, even on the 3DS, I’m just like,



I also love Majora’s Mask for what it is (DEPRESSING), though I can’t put it in my Hall of BFF’s until I finish it. In the meantime, I still hold the game in very high regard for various sappy reasons.

Getting back to Skyward Sword, it is, in a word, divisive. Certainly the most divisive game since Majora’s Mask. Here’s a summation of my feelings—and I know I ain’t the first one to say this, which should tell you something: What the game does well, it does exceedingly well. And when it fails—er, well, let’s just say it’s a loooooong fall from Skyloft.

The game’s motion controls are no small reason for said division between fans. Personally, I feel they totally altered the series’ formula, and in a good way (others disagree and say the game is too pedestrian, motion controls or not). Being able to roll bombs, for instance, opens up a whole new breed of puzzle-solving that would simply not be possible if Skyward Sword adhered to the standard Zelda-series drop-and-toss. Same goes for the 1:1-motion sword fighting, which can be supremely irritating against certain enemies (the momma-effin’ Technoblins), but really adds zing to fights with bigger, badder dudes, like the Moblins, some of the bosses, and those asshole laser-eye statues.

Swords are only one Zelda staple: dungeons are another. And I vote that the dungeons in Skyward Sword are fantastic. For the first time in, like, ever, here’s a Zelda game that gives us just the right number of dungeons, all of which are just the right length, and each of which boasts a truly original gimmick (the first two are a bit typical, but they can be regarded as warm-ups). Interestingly, the overworld has undergone a transformation as well, and now each region of Hyrule serves as a puzzle/battlefield that must be surmounted before you can enter the dungeon. It’s much more interesting than it sounds, especially one particular journey through a “sand”-sea.

One unfortunate criticism I’ve heard lobbed at Skyward Sword (which comes as a side effect of it sharing half a name with “Skyrim”) is accusations that Nintendo got “lazy” with the overworld, which really isn’t the case. Miyamoto specifically stated he wanted people to re-visit the same territories under different circumstances. We already know that the Zelda series is capable of giving us sprawling overworlds. Other than hunting for heart pieces and galloping around on Epona, they’re not good for a whole lot. So kudos to Nintendo for doing something a bit different this time around.

Something else Skyward Sword does exceptionally well: character.



By “character,” I mean the attention Nintendo put into everyone’s facial expressions,* hand motions, etc. Link looks like Justin Beiber—I absolutely cannot get over this—but he is remarkably likable despite the fact that he is (as usual) mute. Whereas Link was something of a cipher in Twilight Princess, he performs all sorts of little motions in Skyward Sword that make you want to be best buds with him. There is a scene towards the end of the game wherein he’s riding stomach-down on the back of a BIG-ASS FLYING WHALE, his chin in his folded arms, his eyes closed, completely at ease. You see that and you’re like, “Goddamn—I want to ride on a flying whale, too.”

Nintendo put together a pretty awesome cast, overall.** One of the game’s nicest surprises is the reformation of Groose, who starts off as a typical bully archetype. I won’t go into this, but I will say that I was also impressed to discover that the two suckerfish who cling to him throughout the game break off and find personalities of their own (and you can shatter one of the goons by throwing a love letter he wrote down the toilet—but I won’t get into that, either).

I love the new races, too, like the Kikwi, the unnamed seahorse/jellyfish attendants to the Water Dragon, the tiny, chattering Robots, and, best of all, the Mogmas. The Mogmas are a tunneling race of mole-people. Each one looks distinctly different, and they’re all just awesome to talk to.



Just look at that asshole. How dare he be so personable.

Another race design I am just ga-ga for: the Dragons. Skyward Sword has a few of them lingering around, and each one contributes to Link’s quest. If you’ve known me for any length of time, you’ll know that I’m kind of stupid about dragons, but I admit that it’s rare to see anyone take a major risk with them in these modern times. Artists tend to go for the typical winged lizard design, maybe with some variations: feather wings instead of bat wings, a combination of Asian and European physiology, whatevs.

The Dragons in Skyward Sword, however, are gigantic, kimono-wearing, man-dragon hybrids with additional attributes that adhere to their element. Here’s the game’s Thunder Dragon:



You can’t see it in this still image, but the Thunder Dragon’s belly lights up. Eeee. So cool.

And even though they seem to big and bulky to move efficiently, the dragons whip effortlessly through air, magma, and water. It’s just super-neat to watch.

So! Skyward Sword did all these things right, and a whole lot more. But what did it to wrong? I’ll get to that when it’s not New Year’s Eve and I don’t have a date with all the liquor bottles in the world. PEACE OUT, YO, and all the best 2 U in 2012!



—

*Except Fi.

**Except Fi.